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Worries: My view on worries and anxiety

Updated: Sep 20, 2020

Many of us have had such difficult starts in life, we are unable to find the serenity and security we need to approach every new day with a reasonable degree of confidence.

For me, one of the ways to boost myself in a sense that things will be OK is to sing my lungs out. By singing it out, gives a calm effect and like vent it out from your body rather than stuck inside, making it worse.

Many of us most of the time, worry about work, money, being left, disappointment, over-madness, disgrace, etc (just to to name a few here) We worry in the early hours, we worry on a holiday, we worry in parties while we're trying to smile and seem normal to good people who depend on us. It can feel pretty unbearable, at moments.

When we worry, we naturally tend to think on what will occur next, hence the rapid heartbeat together with anxiety and all the panic thoughts. The nature of traumatic events happened during in our childhood, if not being properly processed, starts to haunt you back in adulthood. For example, discrimination of us Asians taking business subjects, or humiliation of not practicing our tradition and culture. They convince us that something awful is about to occur; when we were at the hands of our parents. We worry so much that we can be ultimately mourning, we can feel profoundly sorry for our younger selves as an alternative to being panic for our future selves.

Appreciating the childhood and realizing it, helps us to respond on what alarms us. Rather than looking on the specifics of every worry, it can be helpful when we look in an overall position. If we have been well-parented, we know how to handle when crisis occur. We know how to reach out, seek help, perhaps move away from our problems. But when we are lack in these, we remain in significant ways, in relation to our troubles, like the frightened children we once were.

We may be tall, drive a car, and sound like a grown-up, but when face with concerns we resort to our toolkit of childlike solutions; we overreact, we go silent, we scream, we have little sense of other options, we feel extremely limited in our powers of protest, we lose all perspectives. To which is appropriate, and in no way patronizing, to remind ourselves of what can, in our deeper psychological self--still be an entirely implausible thought that WE ARE NOW ADULTS. In other words, in response to the kind of terror, we don't have to be afraid or powerless as we were.

There are 2 ways to mitigate our risks, to try to remove all risk or to work on one's attitude towards the risk. Knowing that many of our fears have childhood antecedents as do our responses to them can free us to imagine that history won't repeat itself exactly. Adult life doesn't have to be as terrifying as our childhood once were and thank God for easy access learning of self-knowledge in the internet. We'll still be worried a substantial portion of the time, but perhaps with a little less catastrophe.

#perspective #worry #anxiety #life

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