Updated: Sep 25, 2020
I have been thinking a lot lately, If you're anything like me, when it comes to freedom, you will probably be on the point like it's not real, we're never really going to be free. Most of the time, especially those who are dear and close to me will know that I am in constant prison like fear of letting go. Which makes me confused about my Faith, in my relationship with God. I always think that I have been raised like this, my background, how my parents brought me up. I finally take the step to rise up, to take courage of deciding to be 100% truly free in doing whatever I want.
I wasn't being able to be open and express myself, generally perhaps it's a fear of people's comments, the way they give their looks, judgments, expectations and acceptance.
At this point in time, I want to share based on my experience on how I have understood what freedom in vulnerability means. It was exactly last year around this time, God spoke to me and revealed to me that the summary of human connection and being a good person to yourself and others lies in being vulnerable.
It takes time for me to learn and cope, and I believe I still am to be one with my anxiety and let the risk of the worst case scenario happen release me from those shields or armor that we are trying to conceal trying to protect ourselves in our comfort zone. I find that if we do not let ourselves be vulnerable, we are exposed to the risk of being anxious, controlling and a little bit of a perfectionist. Maybe a little too much of a perfectionist. Each of these holds absolutely tied down our freedom. And so we as Christians, we pray. I learn how to pray by choosing to open all of me to Him. It's like I'm acknowledging, reflecting and therefore getting to know myself better while deepening my relationship with Him.
This freedom is important for our perseverance in our Faith. In order to be fruitful and solid, which I wasn't completely back then, for any relationship to blossom, I learn to be OK with myself, I learn to love myself. I wasn't completely back then too before I could love someone else. That is freedom, a freedom that takes guidance, takes time, needs reflection and a complete self-love in God.
WHERE FREEDOM LIES
Doing what we want is not freedom. Freedom lies in being content and happy. Freedom lies in knowing ourselves (strengths and weaknesses) and accepting them. Freedom lies in a willingness to change for the good. Freedom lies in being willing to find peace. Above all, freedom lies in choosing to reflect and learn from experience.